This gave me some pause. Some of these things I can, by a lot of frankly disingenuous mental gymnastics, relate to, with my current 'situation'. A lot of these 'what is and what should never be' thoughts flit about in my thoughtbox. I have had my share of physical issues, with the minor September accident, and the aches and pains in general over the last 8 months or so - and I have been a little morose on account of my left wrist still not fully functional (due to said accident) and a hurting right shoulder blade. Reading and reflecting on this article is purely coincidental.
“Last year, there was a plan for me to do a test in an F1 car and I was pretty comfortable that I could do it. But my question was ‘What’s next?’
“The next is not possible for me because of my limitations. So I didn't do it because I wanted to protect myself. There was too much risk that I would enjoy it and then... well, it would be like taking a knife and stabbing myself in the chest with it.
“Do I think about F1? Yes and no. You have to live for what is next, not from memories. I could go to F1 races and have more contact with friends and people I knew in F1. But I decided to avoid it.
“Not because I am not friendly but because it reminds me. I am honest. Watching an F1 race is not easy. For the first two years after my accident, I was concentrating on my recovery and it was easier for me to watch then.
“Now it is a bit more difficult. Not because I see Lewis and Nico fighting for the championship and I think I know them from a very young age, we were racing every season since 98, but just because I miss driving with them.
“I’d be okay if I never drive an F1 car again competitively. I would be better if I could but I know time is running against me."